“The steps of Lucinda are established by the Lord, and He delights in Lucinda's way. When Lucinda falls, Lucinda will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds Lucinda's hand.” (NASB)
Taking comfort in this devotion today from Proverbs 31 Ministries.
I have been struggling with failure time and time again in so many areas of my life lately it seems. As a mom, wife, student, friend, sister, accountant, keeper of finances, niece...This devotion spoke to me today. Today a friend called in a very difficult situation. She yelled at God, she vented to me, she cried...and all I could do was listen. Feeling like I failed her; if I was a better keeper of our financial situation I could help her get justice, but no I've failed at that. I have this voice inside my head saying, "well look, you are not a very good friend; you should have enough money to help her." But then on the flip side, the enemy is beating me up with thoughts like "Here you are, all pity partying by yourself and your friend is in the fight of her life without any hope or end in sight, how selfish of you." I know this is a ridiculous claim, but I cannot help but feel this way.
I have been so impatient with my husband and his work commitments lately also. He works hard for us and provided a great life for us. He has been so busy lately, and I am beginning to become embittered being the primary caretaker of the boys and being home with them all day, day in and day out. Patience is not my strong suit and really have no reason to be frustrated. But of course the enemy has a hold of this feeling of failure at being a grateful appreciative wife.
I have also felt very inadequate in my role as a student. I am not excited about what I am going to school for, I don't even know now at this point if there will be a job for me when I am done. Will I enjoy the work? Will it be enough? Will I be able to find contentment? Did I make the right decision to go further in debt and put my family through this intense program? I just don't have a positive answer to these questions? I have worked so hard for the last 2 years and now, here I am almost done and so anxious about it all. Where has my joy gone? Was this the path the Lord set me on, or did I take control and make a decision simply because I wanted to? The enemy would say "You are a failure, you will not find contentment, look at you, no joy." He wants me to be anxious, have doubt and live in the past. The bigot sin of all: he wants to steal my joy.
God's word says the Lord is stronger than all this. That He delights in me; He has established my ways and holds my hand. He wants good for me and will pick me up when I fall. I am praying for the strength to believe this in my heart today.
Lucinda
